Commentary

Undoing the doing habit A Visionary Approach to Happiness Article by Kate Major, Happiness Expert

"Just in Time" Learning

If you are reading this web site you are a life long learner. Life long learners are in search of ideas on better ways to do... better ways to do their job, better ways to do some repetitive or complicated task or simply a better way to do life.

This article suggests going into the opposite direction of doing.
Lao tzu called the opposite of doing - non-doing.

He considered that the person who had mastered life had mastered the art of non-doing. Non-doing is not sitting on a log, staring into space in a catatonic stupor. Non-doing requires the courage to allow life to be done through you and not by you.

Non-doing depends first and foremost on receiving.

We are born to receive. It is a pattern inherent in our conception, gestation and birth process. In your mother's womb, you were in training to be the world's most accomplished receiver. You were in a completely receptive state. Every nutrient [and every toxin] ingested by your mother was received by you. Everything you are physically today, you received years ago from your parents' DNA. Even today, right now, as you sit and read this article, every cell of your body is lined with thousands of receptor sites-designed to do what receptors are designed to do best, which is to receive.

This very real biological fact is paralleled in many spiritual traditions. Spiritual traditions confirm our role as receivers, not the "doers". The Upanishads affirmed that "without the Lord [supreme intelligence] I cannot even open my eyes." Millions of Christians recite the Lord's prayer, where the line "Give us our daily bread" puts one into a receptive state. Upon reciting that single line, a person is reminded of their role as the receiver of all that is good and life sustaining. One remembers that they are not the cause or the doer, but only the receiver. It is very humbling.

Receiving is Empowering
What is so empowering about receiving? In the moments of complete receiving, an invisible power comes into play. Her name is Grace; at least that's what spiritual texts call this power. Grace is an untapped resource that every one of us in the process of improving the quality of our lives has access to and can use more of. This power called Grace carries us across the turbulent waters of life and lifts us above our everyday concerns. Grace sets us free from our most serious problems and allows us to solve them at the same time. In the moments of complete and absolute inner freedom, our outer performance is at its peak. The doing is effortless, flawless and fun. It is the quality of non-doing in the midst of doing that Lao tzu identified as one of the characteristic markers of a person who has full mastery over life. A master of life is not someone whose life appears to be perfect but one whose life is in perfect harmony with how things are.

The Practice of Receiving
How do you become a better receiver? Practice, practice, practice.Note: It will take you more time to read this article than to do the practice.

Preparation
This practice requires 20 to 30 minutes of quiet time.
The setting you require for practicing the habit of non-doing is very simple. Turn off your electronic receivers, cell phones, telephones and beeping computers so that you are able to tune into the inner receiver.

The room will need a sound system through which you can listen to music. Choose a piece of music that is relaxing to listen to. You will use this music in Step Three. Classical music works well for this practice because of the wide variety of tones, volumes and rhythms played by the orchestra. There are tones, combinations and complexities in classical music that we miss out on in contemporary music. A wider range of tones and rhythms, tempos and volumes, opens more parts of the body to receive. Slow pieces work better than lively ones. Adagios and largos work well.

There are, of course, hundreds of selections available. I have listed a few of my favorite pieces for this practice.
Edvard Grieg's - Adagio from Piano Concerto in A minor Opus 16; playing length 6:13 minutes.
Franz Liszt's - Consolation in E minor; playing length 3:16 minutes.
Gustav Mahler's - Adagietto, Symphpny No. 5; playing length 9:02 minutes.
Antonin Dvorak - Largo, from The New World, Symphpny No. 9 Opus 95, playing length 11:59 minutes

Even if you are not a fan of classical music, give it a chance. If you absolutely cannot sit through piece of classical music, choose any type of music you find pleasing and relaxing.

Set your CD player on "repeat". I recommend listening to your piece of music at least three times. Of course if the music is a longer selection, then listening two times over is sufficient. An optimal time for Step Three – the listening/receiving phase of this practice is 20 minutes.

The chair should have good back support and your feet should be completely resting on the floor when you sit. Make sure that the chair is of a height that allows your knees to be perpendicular to your hips so that your knees are directly above your anklebones and your knees make a 90-degree angle to your thighs and hips. If you have short leg bones you may need to use a couple of the books under your feet so that both feet completely rest on the floor and your knees are perpendicular with your hips. If you have long leg bones you may need to add another cushion or folded blanket on top of the seat of the chair. Make sure that your seat is stable and steady. Your neck and head are supported by your spine, not the top of the chair or headrest.

The temperature of the room should be comfortable. You may need a blanket to protect yourself from cold drafts.

Now you are ready to begin your practice.

Step 1: The Sigh

Imagine you just carried a 15-pound bag of groceries up a steep hill and you see a comfortable park bench in the shade of a beautiful old tree. You decide you are going to sit down. You let out a deep sigh...followed by another deep sigh.
After the sigh, pause for a moment... let the air replenish itself and release the breath with another sigh.
You have now enjoyed three deep sighs.
Give yourself the luxury of yet another sigh. That's four

Continuing in the same manner as above, complete this step with two more sighs.
This is a process of emptying mental and emotional debris so that you will have space within to receive.

Do you notice any resistance to sighing? Do you want to rush through this and get on with it? This is a sign of wanting to be the "do-er" instead of the one whom life is done through. It is really OK to let go. You may need to affirm this to yourself a few times as you train to become an accomplished receiver.

Step 2: Tuning the Brain - Polishing the Antennae

From sighing, you advance to humming.

Drop your jaw slightly… inhale gently… sound any note or tone and then close your lips around the sound. Let the tone sound until you feel you are ready for another breath. Stop before you completely exhaust yourself of air. Be easy with yourself. This is a gentle, easy sound. Let the breath replace itself and continue making the tone, with your lips closed. Notice if you feel the vibration in your lips or under your nose. You can also hum while you roll the sound around in your mouth, by opening the back of your throat, yet keeping your lips together. This is like yawning and humming at the same time.

Now place your hands gently on your face. Your hands are going to be the receiver of the vibrations of your hum. I like to start with the base of my palms under my chin, the bottom of my cheeks fitting into the hollow of my hands and fingertips on or around the temples of my skull.

As you are humming, notice how many areas of your palms and fingers receive a vibration. The volume of the humming is very quiet even at its loudest. At its loudest, the volume should be as loud as your normal speaking voice. Experiment by humming various tones. Hold the notes for various lengths of time. Notice as you change pitch and volume, from low to high, soft to louder, that the location of reception in your palms and fingers changes.

You may repeat the same tone several times, if you like. You may also slide up and down several tones on one breath. You may like to hum the entire eight-tone scale or just a few notes up and down. You may also simply want to improvise with a tune of your own. Your attention to what is happening is more important than the musicality of what you are doing. It is often easier to move attention deeper by keeping to the simple and slow.

Now bring your fingertips just below to bridge of your nose with the end of your fingertips on either side of the bony part of your nose. It is a pose that looks like your sneezing into both of your hands.

Begin your humming again, noticing the parts of the palms and fingers receiving the vibration.

Next you can place your fingertips lightly on the cheekbones under your eyes and the fingers lie flat along your cheeks. Notice the reception in your palms, fingers and fingertips as you hum the various tones.

Now experiment by placing your palms over your ears. Enjoy a different sound.
Continue experimenting, receiving the hum into your hands from various parts of your neck, back of skull and your throat.

After about 2 to 5 minutes, bring your hands down gently into your lap and let the vibrations continue to resonate through your hands and body. You are receiving even in the silence. Let the music you just made resonate in the silence for at least three complete breath cycles of inhalation and exhalation.

Commentary
Your palms and fingertips are like antenna receiving inner vibrations stimulated by your own sound. You are waking up the receptors in your cells to receive more. When one cell receives, a rippling effect occurs, awakening other cells down the line. When one cell shuts down, it slows down or even shuts down other cells from receiving. (This is called aging.) The tones you hum wake-up every cell in your body, including your brain.

Experiment with a variety of tones. We all have notes we prefer and notes that we avoid. The tones that you do not like are easy to tune out, though they exist. In the tuning out of certain tones you run the risk of censoring your world and dulling your mind. You are not fragile and weak. You can take the vibration of sound particularly if you are open to it. It's the resistance to the tone itself that takes effort and hurts, not the tone itself.

Step 3: Receiving Through the Body

This is my favorite part of the practice.
Listening at a comfortable volume, simply sit in your chair and let your body receive the subtle vibrations of the music you chose in the preparatory phase. If you sit close enough to the speakers you'll feel the music come through the floor, parts of the chair and resonate in various places in your body. Just as you received the vibrations of your hum into your hands, receive the vibrations of the music into your body.

Place your focus not on the music itself but on your breath. This is a very important detail of this practice.

When attending to your breath simply notice when the breath is inside your body and notice when it is outside.

At the beginning of the practice, you may want to keep track of your breath by counting in the following manner. When you begin to breathe in, count "one". As you continue to inhale, count two, three, four etc. There may be a pause at the top of your inhalation. Continue to count through the pause. As soon as you notice your breath turning to flow outwards, start your count from “one” again and carry on counting two, three, four, etc. until the air effortlessly, on its own accord, finds a still point. There may or may not be a pause at the bottom of your breath. If there is a pause, continue counting through the pause. When you notice the natural impulse to breathe in, allow the breath to flow in. Begin counting from “one” again, continuing as above.

As your mind settles, you can drop the counting and replace it with the word “inside” when the breath is inside your body and “outside” when it is on the outside of your body. Then you can shorten the word to “in” or “out” as appropriate.

How Fast Do I Count?

Sometimes I use the rhythm of my heartbeat to mark out the speed at which I will count the numbers for my breath. Sometimes I use the rhythm of the music to synchronize my breath. The counting is simply a device for helping me stay on track with noticing my breath. The deeper your concentration, the quieter your mind will become. As your concentration deepens the need for external devices for focusing drops away. The counting or the words "inside/outside" act as an anchor to keep your mind from floating away into daydreams of the past, future or fantasy. Once the mind is steady, you can shift your attention from sinking the anchor to receiving the stillness of a steady mind.

One of my favorite quotes of spiritual master Baba Meher is:
The mind that is fast is sick
the mind that is slow is sound
the mind that is still is divine

Can you receive the vibrations of the music into your body without losing awareness of your breath?

Be gentle with yourself. If this were a game, you would get points not for succeeding in keeping your mind focused on your breath but for noticing when your mind had drifted from your breath.

Every time you notice your mind is not on your breath, you get a point. Yes, you score for noticing when attention has been interrupted, not for success at maintaining uninterrupted attention on your breath.

In addition, you can earn bonus points by being very gentle with yourself when you notice your mind has drifted and bringing your mind back to the here and now. The more gently, sensitively, kindly, delicately, patiently and lovingly you bring your mind back to the present, with whatever is presenting itself, the more bonus points you score.

Being a failure at concentration can make you a high scorer in this game, not a loser.

The commentary that follows deepens this practice and offers ways to handle difficulties that come up in this step. If you have trouble steadying the mind in the present, use the suggestions in the commentary.

Commentary
It is important that you refrain from thinking, "inhale" or "exhale". The words inhale or exhale implies there is an effort of doing. All you have to do is notice where the breath is. You do not have to make an effort at breathing.

Noticing is important because to receive, you first have to notice.

The Wandering Mind

Your mind will wander. Oh, my mind wanders. I notice that when my mind wanders, it drifts off into the past, future or fantasy for one of three reasons: physical pain, emotional pain or disliking parts of the music.

When your mind has wandered from your breath, go deeper into your awareness and investigate the reason your concentration was broken. Begin with investigating the cause for your mind’s wandering due to physical pain.

Pain is a very good and positive awareness to have during this meditation practice.
The fact you feel some pain may mean that you have relaxed enough to actually feel something.

It may also mean the body is preparing to feel more alive. When you have gone for long periods of time without receiving, the body gets stressed. The body's response to stress is to shut down, to stop feeling. When you are very stressed, you are numb. Numbing is a reaction to chronic low-grade stress. You get used to not feeling. You go through the motions of life experiencing neither happiness nor sadness. You work, but without enthusiasm. This is what I call numbness. Many people call this normal. You may feel uptight all the time. This is also a form of numbness.

As you relax through practices such as this, the body's numbness begins to thaw. The breaking up of tension actually hurts initially. The pain that was previously protected by a layer of numbness becomes apparent as the thawing begins.
Now that you are in receiving mode, you are also receiving pain.

What to do with physical pain?
Receive it. Make room for it. Welcome it.

What does that mean?
Receiving your pain asks you to become interested in pain as pure sensation. Use your mind to describe to yourself how much space the pain takes up in your body. Describe its shape - long needle like pins; a thick brick; a cube of ice. What are the edges of the shape like? Is it jagged; razor sharp; prickly like a cactus; blunt...? What is the weight of this pain? What is the color of this pain? If this pain made a sound what sound would it make? What temperature is it, red hot to ice cold?
This is very different than using your mind using the pain to scare you. Often, when we feel pain we move out of the present and into the future, wondering what the pain means. Are we really sick? Is this going to cause a problem at work? Should you just ignore this pain or go looking for a cure? What would be the best modality to use? The regular medical system or alternative healing practices?
The mind can also go into the past with pain. Is the pain caused because you lifted something incorrectly? Is it too much undigested food? You really should go on a diet. Who were you talking to earlier that told you of the same kinds of symptoms? Is this the same thing your father had?
Sometimes your mind can use pain to make you feel guilty for being made of flesh and bone and subject to wear and tear. Sometimes your mind can make you angry because your body is not cooperating with your script for perfectly healthy life.
Stay clear of your stories and speculations about why you have the pain and/or what you should do about it. Don't use this practice to get a message from above for treating your pain. Do not use this practice to interpret why you have the pain and what it represents symbolically in your life. Do not use this practice to think about the changes you should make in your life to alleviate yourself of the pain. Simply maintain your interest on describing the sensations to yourself as clearly as you can. Stick to the fact, not your interpretation of the facts.
Most likely, you will notice that the pain sensations seem fluid, not static. You may notice that the pain begins to dissipate and dissolve. You may also notice that the pain has moved from one part of your body to another part of your body. As one area of pain dissolves, another area reveals itself. It is as if the first pain sensation, once relieved, leads you to the next. Pain is dissolving layer after layer.

Emotional Pain
Your emotions are the second reason your mind may wander from the breath. They are another set of sensations to notice.
Every emotion registers as a measurable sensation in the body. Treat your emotions, (both the positive ones and the negative ones), the same way you treat the awareness of physical pain.
How much space does your emotion take up in your body? As the sensation of the emotion dissolves and dissipates return your attention to the breath.
Does the mind stay centered on the breath or does the breath lead your mind to new areas of physical or emotional pain that need observing?
Pure awareness heals. Healing means making whole. To be whole, you must become one with whatever you are resisting.

I Don’t Like This Music
The mind may wander because of the music itself. During this practice of receiving through the body, there will be passages in the music that you do not like or like less than others. Notice how your body tightens during these passages. This is a natural response to the resistant thoughts, "I don't like...", "I don't want...", "it shouldn't be like this...", "it should be more...". You may think your body is responding to the unpleasant passage in the music but in reality, the reaction in your body is caused by the resistant thoughts from your mind, not the discordant music.
My resistance to what is - to the music, usually shows up along the right side of my neck, across the shoulder and sometimes down my right shoulder blade. My breath shortens a bit as well. It is at times like this that my mind tends to wander away from the breath and away from receiving. It is as if my mind is saying, "If I cannot shut this music off, then I will just block it out by going away." This reinforces a lifelong practice of non-presence.
The moment I stop receiving, I lose touch with reality. The moment I stop receiving, is the exact same moment I start controlling as a way of compensating for the loss of reality, which is my foundation for peace of mind.
If I can stay present during the passages of the music I disagree with by bringing my attention back to noticing whether my breath is inside or outside of my body, something miraculous happens. I find either a new appreciation for the music as it is or the music is now into a new passage and is just what I need. I learn that everything changes naturally and I do not have to control it all. It is already provided for me without me doing a thing. I can sit back and receive. If I cannot receive the present, what makes me think I will be in it better shape to receive the future?

Noticing pain in the body or stress in the mind is positive because you are privileged enough to see how your thoughts, [specifically thoughts of resistance such as "I don't like"..., ". I don't want..", ". The should be different..", " "this shouldn't be taking so long" etc.] and pain/stress are related to each other.
This meditation practice offers you the first hand, direct, irrefutable evidence to notice how it is not the outside circumstances that cause your stress but your resistance to what is that causes your physical, mental and emotional pain. It is not the music that hurts, it is my thoughts about the music that hurts me.
So when passages come up in music that you do not like, notice your resistance. Treat it as you would physical or emotional pain. How much space do your opinions about the music take up in your body? What are the sensations associated with your thoughts about the music?

Do not resist your resistance. It is your leading edge of growth. It points out exactly where you have closed off to life and are ready to open again.


Step 4: Gratitude

Let the music fade. Sit in silence and continue to receive the vibrations as they reverberate through your body, even in the silence. This is similar to the quiet receiving you experienced at the end of step 2.
With awareness, inwardly express gratitude for all the good you have received from this practice and all the good you are about to receive from this day.


Step 5: Carrying This Practice into Your Daily Life

This step carries you effortlessly from only receiving during meditation to receiving all the time in your everyday life.
Just as the impulse to breathe in arises of its own accord, so too will the impulse to carry on with your day arise of its own accord. When you are ready, move out of your chair as if you are being lifted out of your chair; move as if you are being moved instead of moving; act as if you are being done through instead of doing. Keep your focus soft as you use your eyes to navigate your way through the physical world. Keep a small secret smile on your lips and within your heart. This is your only power in the world. It is your sovereignty. It is your freedom.

Commentary on the Half Smile
In the images of the Buddha, whether a painting or a statue of the Buddha, he is always depicted with just the beginning of a smile on his lips. This is called a half smile.
As you learn to carry yourself in the world in a trusting and receptive manner, you can acknowledge your gratitude of receiving by smiling as the Buddha smiled. The half smile nurtures more peace and joy within you.
Events of the world can unsettle you for a moment but they do not own you. You own your state of being – hence smile - that you are free to transcend the physical events of the world simply by opening to the world with the simple act of receiving. The half smile anchors this knowing deep into the core of your being.
If you are anything like me, this phase of moving through the world softly, receptively, with gratitude, ease and grace lasts about two minutes, but what beautiful two minutes. Then the habitual patterns conditioned into my mind takeover and I stop noticing.

The next time you notice you have lost yourself under a mound of frenzied thoughts, gently return to your breath. The next time you feel for compulsion to do more, be more, have more… just stop. Once you have come to a full stop, head in the opposite direction you thought you needed to go and receive more. Open yourself up to sound, smell color, light, sensation and take it all in.
Look at something, anything, and receive the vibrations. Receive the vibration of the color of the object. Receive through your eyes and into your body.
Listen to the sounds around you, regardless of where you are. You may be fortunate enough to find yourself in one of nature's beauty spots. Receive all the rich sounds. You may be sitting in a very quiet room. Listen to the pleasing sound of your body's own inner workings. You might be stuck in traffic. Notice the complex orchestration of the traffic; the rhythm, the high and low tones, let yourself be surprised by the unpredictable melody line. Open your body and let the sound in. You may be sitting in your home. Listen to the hum of the appliances. Sing the note. Better yet, sing a note that harmonizes with the note you hear. This way you add harmony to a discordant environment.

Final Comments
If your life feels any more difficult than the pleasure you receive from this meditation, you are doing more than is required to keep your life in balance.
This good feeling is actually an optimal zone of performance from which you can do anything. If you consistently do or act from this feeling place within, everything you do will be worthwhile. Everything you do from this inner state of peace and receptivity will withstand the test of time. It will serve you and the world. In contrast, everything you do from stressed out state of mind will only cause problems for you and others now or in the future, even if it appears you are successful in your endeavors for a brief period of time. You may accomplish fewer things than before, but what you do will be infinetly better. What is more satisfying...to do many, many things and hope that it all doesn't come crashing down as you try to do one more thing to do or to do a little and know that what you do will stand the test of time and more importantly be relevant to your well being and that of others?

When you make your "to do list" more important than knowing where your breath is, you are more interested in controlling the situation than in being free of situation. When you make your "to do list" more important than knowing where your breath is, you are more interested in solving the problem yourself than having the problem solved, once and for all.
When you make your to do list less important than knowing where your breath is, you put yourself into a position of receiving. You serve life, not your ego. From this lowly position, all power flows to you.

In Stephen Mitchell's excellent English version of the Tao Te Ching, he writes:
All streams flow to the sea
because it is lower than they are.
Humility gives it its power.
Verse 66

About Kate: 
Kate Major is a gifted and intuitive coach and teacher . She humbly calls herself a Happiness Expert and can be reached at (403) 652-3525 or by by email at majorarcana50@hotmail.com